Saturday, September 30, 2006

Airline Security?

Ok. I'm all for airline security, and I want to do my part to catch bad guys, but please.
I had to fly a few days ago, and I can honestly say TSA is doing what they can to anger travelers and make flying as painful as possible. Granted, they are just "doing their job", but who are these terrorist they are supposed to catch? Yeah, yeah, they caught some fool with explosives in his shoe. I get it. I'm finally ok with taking my shoes off. It pissed me off at first, but I get it. And I suppose taking off my jacket is pallatable, but I'm still not used to scanning my toiletries!
I read the website and thought I was covered....not quite!
I put my trial size toothpaste, my tral size contact lense solution, and my mennen speed stick in a clear freezer bag as insructed. As I approached the security screening I saw they had an addition screening table set up prior to the metal detactors and scanning belt. The man asked if I had any "liquids or gels"?
"As a matter of fact I do", I said smugly. I then handed him my freezer bag for inspection. He told me my speedstick was banned from carry on, but that I could "check it".
"What do ya mean it's banned"?
"It's more than three ounces", he announced (as he pointed to the manufactorer's print that stated 3.25 oz).
"Well, it's half used", I reasoned.
"Sorry, check it or I have to confiscate it".
So I whipped out my hunting knife and scraped the "3.25 oz" off the package.
"There, it's three ounces".
After he confiscated my speedstick AND my hunting knife, I proceeded to the scanning belt. I put my shoes, jacket and bag on the belt and walked through the metal detector without incident.
"Is this your bag sir?" the old biddy asked.
"I'm gonna have to search it."
She then held up my trial size body spray (axe) and said it was banned. Again, I could check it or give it up.
I said "what do you mean? That is not a liquid OR a gel."
"It's an aerosol and it's more than three ounces", she snapped. It was FOUR ounces!
"OK, take it you bitch" (the you bitch part was under my breath).
Finally I gathered up my stuff and headed to the gate.
So, I apologize to anyone I may have offended on that trip, since all my deodorant products were confiscated. The lesson being that anyone who smells nice on the secure side of the gates may actually be a terrorist. Since they obviously got their contraband past TSA.
I swear to God, if I ever win the lottery, I'll never fly commercail again!

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